Listening – Superpower: Tune in, really understand (OnePageBook)

The 6th OnePageBook™ tackles the skill of listening. Learn to tap in to your superpower with simple and effective concepts.

Understand others better. Your wife or husband, your kids, your family, your boss or collegues, a random stranger. Listen, and listen good. Get in there and really get it. And let the other person know you truly understand. Lift personal relationships to a new level.

As usual, this is a straight-to-the-point one pager with no beating around the bush.

Head on over to the OnePageBooks and get your copy (as an e-book on Amazon, or as a downloadable pdf).

Uncontrol

Businesses are concerned with controlling most aspects of operation. Finance, sales, manufacturing, logistics, projects, people, all kinds of processes, planning, even innovation. They don’t want to fail.

People are concerned with controlling most aspects of their lives. Money, job security, family time, kids, house, even vacations. We don’t want to fail.

Society is built upon the need for control. We don’t like when things spin out of control.

Control makes sure we don’t run into unknown territory. It keeps us safe.

It also hinders innovation. Precisely because it mitigates surprises by ensuring we keep out of unknown territory.

I advocate the occasional UNCONTROL. Just “letting go” may not be quite enough. We should sometimes make a conscious decision to uncontrol a situation. To really let it run its own course into uncharted territory. To let the project derail and let the sale cycle take surprising turns. To stomach the uncomfortable uncertainty, embrace failing and let new synapse paths connect.

Daring the unknown spurs innovation.

Letting go (of the horse)

It’s called Equine Assisted Coaching or Coaching with Horses.

In Ibiza, there’s one amazing woman, Gouwe de Waard, who is doing coaching together with Tanit – a horse. I guess the outcome of the coaching is unique for each and every one. For me it was a special exercize in letting go.

I got into the area together with Tanit. I’m comfortable with all kinds of animals, horses included. And so I started out establishing a connection with her. As I tried to communicate in a few dozen ways, Tanit was hell bent on eating. She ate, and ate, and ate and really seemed to not give a shit about me. In trying to communicate, the problem came down to the fact that I was trying. Whenever I tried to get her to move her head or look at me or call her toward me, I was pulling or pushing – but very gently. But that was enough for Tanit to lose interest in connecting with me.

It was when I finally let go – fully didn’t care – fully went fuck it – then she came over to me and stood beside me looking the same way I did. It culminated in several serene moments when we both stood there looking at each other or looking the same way. An amazing experience that confirmed to me the power of fully letting go.

Thank you Tanit. And thank you Gouwe.

How to help a friend in trouble: Simple and effective tools (OnePageBook)

Gain a set of simple and effective tools to help others with this OnePageBook™.

Help a friend, colleague, son, daughter or other family member or any person you meet.

Easy to learn, short time to master. Practice regularly and be of lasting value to others.

No lengthy explanations. No background stories. No anecdotes. Just the tools. Effective tools.

As an e-book on Amazon, or as a downloadable pdf. The fifth OnePageBook.

#Fail

The next OnePageBook is here. This book aim to inspire you to fail more. And not just to learn from your mistakes – but for another, more fundamental and hidden benefit. But before you read the book, take a look at this inspirational video from SpaceX:


Get your copy of #Fail from the new OnePageBook page on this blog.

Why Dungeons & Dragons and Pathfinder suck

If you haven’t played Role-Playing games, and D&D/Pathfinder in particular, just skip this post. If you have, then you may appreciate my rant.

I have been playing RPGs since 1981 and designing RPGs since 1983. I have tested, played and researched in detail scores of RPGs, and I’ve found many good systems and many well crafted settings. Dungeons & Dragons and Pathfinder are among the worst RPG systems made. Here’s but a few of the terrible design “features”:

  1. Classes: Enforcing stereotypes is a desgn flaw of any system. It brings with it unnatural restrictions that are hard to explain… “No, you can’t pick up that sword, you’re a Magic User!”
  2. Hit Points increase with level: A medium level fighter can take ten times the damage of an average man in the street. And it takes 10 Cure Light Wounds to get him from fainted to full HP as opposed to one CLW for the average man. You can’t kill an experienced adventurer with an arrow, etc.
  3. Armor Class: In D&D/Pathfinder, waring armor makes it harder to hit you, but the damage done from a weapon is just the same. In reality, armor never makes it harder to hit anyone, it subtracts from damage done.
  4. D20: Using a 20-sided dice with smaller adjustments makes the spread too wide. You’re a dancer with a +7 modifier on the dice roll. One day you throw a 2 on the dice and your dancing is below average.. The next day you throw 19 and your performance is beyond what any everage person can do.
  5. Complexity: With silly basic design flaws like the above, trying to make the system somewhat realistic is a very complicated task. It makes for a complex system with lots of special rules. If the basic design was more realistic, the complete system would be much simpler. Simpler systems make it easer for new players to join in and for new Game Masters to get up and running. Having the GM sift through pages upon pages of complex rules mid-game while players start fiddling with their phones sorta kills the fun. Simpler, more realistic systems let the actual role-playing shine and the playing sessions run more smoothly with less awkward rules getting in the way. The rules should help the game play, not distract from it with surprising unrealism.

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