Nerdvana

I have officially transcended to Nerdvana.

A few of you may have noticed my rather official insanity; An advanced fascination for old Hewlett Packard calculators – especially the amazing HP-41.

I use my 28 years old calculator every day. I program it and develop new software module images that I release as Open Source. And I am certainly not alone. Thankfully others share my insanity. Some create wonderful software that I use. Others create new hardware. Like Diego Diaz with his amazing plugin modules. And Monte Dalrymple with his new replacement motherboard for the HP-41 – the HP-41CL:

HP-41CL internals

Photo by Geoff Quickfall

With one of my HP-41 calculators now upgraded to a 41CL, my world is markedly more amazing. Yes, it’s an escape, but a wonderful one at that. It is 50 times faster and has hundreds of times more memory… and a direct serial interface. With this I can control The World. I could control my telescope, the lighting in my house or hack into…. Muhaaahaaahaha!

HP-41CL

Photo by Geoff Quickfall

Ok, ok. I realize that this is a bit fringe and where my posts here usually racks up a few hundred comments, this will be lucky to gather 5. But hey, this is my blog and I blog about whatever tickles my fancy. And this upgraded calc tickles. Yep ROTFLMAO.

The Rest

There are patches in time and space
Where I am
The rest
Is never fulfilling

Following the horizon
Enriches the meaning
I give
To Life

I touch my imagination
All I can see
Is what I put there
So I can see

So I can play
So I can cry
So I can dance
While I wonder Why

creations

Crazy Quest

When I was a kid, I was shy.

When I was a teenager, I was even more shy but covered it up by excelling in formal and natural sciences.

Then with the help of Scientology, the shyness evaporated and after only a couple of years of communication training I became a host of Norway’s second most popular local radio show. Transformation.

With more releasing of mental blocks through Scientology auditing, I worked on becoming more impulsive and skilled at improvising. Where I would next to faint from standing in front of my class in high school, ten years later I thrived in front an audience.

Since then I have perfected improvisation. I have released social tensions and become more free, more unserious, more goofy, out-of-the-box and more crazy.

crazy quest

In the last year I have been focusing on improving my basic abilities rather than any specific skills set (more about this focus in some later blog post). The quest to be really, really free never ends.

The Crazy Quest needs a new level. Time to up the ante. And here I ask for your inspiration. With your help, I may get further out of the box and turn out a batshit crazy wildass. But for a constructive purpose; To inspire others be more free and and lose themselves in a wild abandon.

So my question to you is;

  • What is your craziest social experience?
  • Anything you have done that was out-of-the-box?
  • Anything you did to inspire people to let go?

people matter

I am not a Scientologist

In a meeting with three amazing friends the other day, the subject of Scientology came up. We discussed the subject briefly and one of them suddenly interjected: “Scientologists are not being themselves“. “Hmm?“, I replied. And he clarified the statement: “Well if they are being a Scientologist, then they are not being themselves“.

Immediately it dawned on me that “Goddamn, he’s right!“.

That is why scientologists has a knee-jerk urge to defend the subject, L. Ron Hubbard or anything supporting Scientology. Because if you truly are in harmony with just being yourself, then there would be no need to defend. Or attack. One would be free. The paradox is that many people having advanced high on The Bridge to Total Freedom exhibit an advanced urge to defend. It indicates they are less free and not in harmony and not simply being themselves.

As a reader of my blog, you may have noticed that I have been on a quest for truth for a very long time. The quest includes a critical look at my own fixed ideas, my own urges to attack or defend. And all of them have to go. I am a work in progress.

So, to sum it up: I AM NOT A SCIENTOLOGIST. And I really mean it. Not just “Yeah, yeah, he says that to free himself of a label” or “at the bottom he really is a scientologist“. No. Truly – I am not a scientologist!

I focus on results, not methodologies. I will use the tools that gives the best results in any given situation. Be it auditing, meditation, yoga, Tai Chi, TRs, playing with Lego or just giving someone a hug.

I realize that this announcement may stir up some feelings. May that be as it may. I am one step further. Thanks Brendan.

The danger of losing yourself

With reference to my previous blog post, I have come to the conclusion that one of the most dangerous pitfalls is that of accepting data without you inspecting and verifying it for yourself.

Source: Unknown

In everyday life this poses only a small risk – like when you accept some gossip about a friend without verification. Or when you believe a sales pitch from a used cars salesman. Or when you accept a lie from your loved one. Most of the time the data presented is true, so only occasionally you are led to believe a lie. But even if it is true, you run the risk of adopting a fixed idea for yourself. Anything believed without personal inspection tend to solidify – because you yourself cannot back it up or really defend it.

Of course it is impossible to inspect or verify every bit of information that you encounter every day. So the hazards of the daily data stream is maneuvered by continuous and often unconscious risk management. Some are good at it and get a hunch when they are confronted by a lie. Others never smells the rat and accepts statements nilly-willy; The hyper-critical tend to swallow any criticism without inspection, while the gullible will swallow any nice and fluffy statement without a blink. Although the former will probably give you a more miserable life than the latter, there are better ways to deal with information.

The real danger comes when the data is big and life-sweeping – like with life principles, general information about people and society or all the way down to axioms of existence. With foundational data, the occasional hunch or gut feeling just doesn’t cut it – because that would amount to bad risk management. When putting a man on the moon, an engineers hunch that the rocket will fly simply won’t fly. For sweeping data, actual inspection and verification is essential – or you can end up not only with a life lie, but with a solid, fixed idea that you cannot back up.

What happens when people accepts sweeping data without personal inspection? They accumulate fixed ideas. The data is “above their head”. The data becomes bigger than themselves. It enters the realm of belief. And such show up in debates as knuckleheadedness, broken records, illogic or plain stupidity.

A person prone to accepting big life data without personal inspection will end up with less personal integrity, more belief, less facts, a more defensive attitude and less free in his or her thinking. And this is the case even if the data happens to be true. The person will become smaller – to the point where there is no one left to inspect anything – an information robot. Nobody home.

A symptom of someone going down this road is a closed, defensive mind not open to opposing views. Or outright attack of contrary opinions.

In my own experience this covers way to many scientologists and Scientology critics. Whether they accept Scientology data or anti-Scientology data without personal inspection – it still closes the mind and makes the person smaller.

This is by no means confined to Scientology, religion or science. This is relevant in any areas of life dealing in general or sweeping data about life and livingness. Such as politics.

The higher on the Scale of Cult Think, the more a group will coerce or enforce belief and discourage or suppress personal inspection of information.

It is a paradox of betrayal that the Church of Scientology demands agreement to the principles laid out by L. Ron Hubbard. It’s even ingrained in his own writings. Even though he very correctly pointed out that you should not accept any data without you yourself being able to see it as true, in other places he enforces compliance. Like the practice of Method 4 Word Clearing where a disagreement with the materials studied is not accepted as anything less than a misunderstood by the student. Or in the policy Keeping Scientology Working #1, where no disagreement with the technology or even the slightest improvement to it is accepted. And there are many other examples. The Church of Scientology follows these policies and viewpoints to the dot, enforcing intellectual compliance, hammering out of existence any opposing views.

And this is a paradox of betrayal because the very purpose of Scientology should be to make an individual more free, more himself and better at evaluating situations, life and information. Quite the opposite is in fact happening. The evidence for this are in the thousands of debates about Scientology on the Net. It becomes stigmatized and a study in illogical debate.

Information exchange breaks down in the face of fixed ideas. It becomes an exercise in defensive tactics and strategies. Intelligence is futile.

Another evidence of what happens in Scientology when people accept data without personal inspection is a far more serious one – an elephant in the room – the absence of amazing people.

Or, taking this even further; It’s not just that Scientology seems to fail in producing amazing people. It seems to produce people with lots of issues. In my experience, I have seen more people with a wide range of issues who have been in Scientology than those who have never been in. I have plenty of non-Scientology friends that lead a really good life, some even enlightened lives, while many scientologist friends have issues with themselves, their families, their personal economic situations. Many have problems even contemplating any views opposing their own fixed ideas about life – implanted by accepting Scientology data without proper verification. It boils down to…

Merits. The efficacy of any principle, datum, procedure, technology or body of knowledge must be judged by its merits. Does it deliver actual, provable value? Are the results up to snuff?

Scientology is a sorry scene when it comes to actual proven results. Hence another area is brought into play – Hubbard’s policies on Public Relations. Most any area can be polished up to shine, even in the absence of verifiable results. Today, Scientology does not deliver on its promises.

It is a wonder that so many scientologists are unable to apply Hubbard’s own data about looking at the statistical results when gauging the efficiency of any technology.

Much of the lack of results can obviously be attributed to the current dictator of the Church of Scientology. But to reduce L. Ron Hubbard to a man without any real influence on the current scene in Scientology is to do him grave disservice.

Before the audience think I have turned my back to Scientology and become “a critic”, I will add that it is not a matter of being “for” or “against” but rather to honestly evaluate the effects I can see. It comes down to the practice of looking. Continual Honest Looking.

I have written many times that I have personally had great gains in Scientology, and I believe there to be excellent gains in Scientology for most people. But to accept data at face value is a road to personal unintegrity. You must be able to verify and sift out what works for you in this vast ocean of Scientology data. You must be able to think with it, to back it up, to be fluid in your evaluations and open to opposing views. And this goes for any field dealing in data about life, the universe and everything. Practicing this, and there would be very little danger of losing yourself.

I believe the continual practice of honest looking to be the real way to enlightenment.

PS: I realize that this blog post may rattle some stable data or even piss off a couple of camps. If so, I consider that to be a step forward.

On choosing friends

I have come to the conclusion that I really need only two major markers for who to choose as my friends:

  1. Those who give more than they take, and
  2. Those who creates flow more than they create friction

The first one is simple; Avoid leeches. Associate with people who continually generate positive karma.

The second one is also easy to recognize; Avoid unnecessary trouble. Associate with people who make things flow, makes things work, create results. I avoid people who create social frictions more than social positive vibes.

Taking” and “friction” are not just “bad“. They are important parts of life. The operative words in my advice above are “more than“.

Back home; In Oslo

After sailing in Greece since the beginning of July, we arrived back home in Oslo yesterday.

Today we went downtown to see the area struck by the terror attack and most importantly the memorial place covered with more flowers than I have ever seen in my life.

OsLove

Strangely the air was filled with calmness and warmth where one could expect confusion and revenge. Sadness yes, but carried by a foundation of love – for those who lost their lives, for the democracy they championed and for our national integrity. I am proud to be a Norwegian. May this horrific event forge a companionship stronger than ever.

In these days of healing there are of course some elements that we could do without. There are those who seek to score political points, those who will use the events to peddle their ideologies and those who will try to solicit PR in the wake of sorrow. Like the staff in the Church of Scientology in Oslo that I met close to our own Ground Zero. They were there on a recruiting mission via The Way to Happiness Foundation – as if a moral code is what the people of Norway need the most right now. The usual practice for the church is to ensure any such event would be used to bolster their image. Knowing that the church actually works hard to support a power hungry cult leader makes such exploitation of willing staff a disgrace.

In times like these I honor those who give unconditional help, those who give without thought of reward.

Significant change

A few months ago I went to the end of civilization and had a profound change of viewpoint. I will always remember and always cherish that trip to Endesh, the village in northern Tanzania. It gave my viewpoints in life a real shaking.

But that just isn’t enough.

A change like that is great, yes, but it just can’t beat looking at my own fundamental viewpoints, purposes and flaws. A real and systematic look at myself. To become a better person, to regain my self.

That just happened.

In less than a week I have gone through a significant change. I found a very basic flaw in my character that has diminished my potential since a very long time – a flaw that has gotten me into trouble almost daily. Sometimes it would result in just small daily issues, small road bumps. Occasionally it would give me more serious problems. And I just tackled this flaw.

If that wasn’t enough, I also had a look at a very fundamental purpose of mine in a whole new light. I discovered why I have the ambitions I have and why it sometimes makes me go in wrong directions or sometimes in no direction at all. I understand why I do what I do.

Now these, to me, are significant changes. And they have come from some serious soul searching.

I haven’t had Scientology auditing since 2006 (when I attested to OT 8). In the past week, one of the best trained auditors in the world, Piere Ethier has been staying in our house giving me something really powerful called L11 (List 11). Like me, Pierre has left the Church of Scientology and gives counseling outside the reach of the Scientology Thought Police. For a mere fraction of the price charged in the CoS, I have gotten more than I could ask for, more significant change than I hoped for. Truly inspiring stuff.