It’s important to heed one’s own advice. And in light of recent exchanges on this blog, I am inspired to review where I am wrong, where I could do with some correcting, and where I have potential for improvement.
I wrote this in an exchange: “…in order to become better in any area, a person must admit to being wrong. When I coach people and help people improve in an area, they first realise they are wrong in that area before they can improve. No admitting to being wrong equals no gain.“. It goes hand-in-glove with me “helping people fail“.
Passing on an opportunity to improve is folly. I am thankful for the opportunity to see my errors and for this opportunity to express them. Because without seeing and expressing it, my chances for improvement is blunted if not halted. Here goes:
- I bog down to perfecting details when I lose strong interests in important games in life.
- I find it hard to get started on new directions in life. Instead I keep polishing what is already quite perfect.
- I get too emotionally engaged in discussions where I am certain I am right. That’s when I become an asshole. It can turn out quite counter-productive as it can drive another to be even more insisting on being right.
- In an effort to assert my own rightness in a discussion, I can forget to really listen to and understand the other person.
- In an effort to assert my own rightness in a discussion, I can forget to compliment the other person for valuable input.
- I can get blinded by the contents of a discussion and often disregard the form of the discussion.
- I tend to focus on logic and disregard factors that are often more important, such as pure art, crazy initiatives and “batshit” as Katageek would call it.
- While my journey to OT 8 in Scientology has given me huge improvements in harmony, resilience and ability to “letting go”, these very gains has also deprived my life of some excitement and zest. I am trying to figure out how to improve the sense of adventure and lose some of that calm harmony. Anyone willing to trade?
I am sure I have forgotten important points in the list above. But heck, I am a work in progress and I can always add more points later.
I have had many changes in viewpoints in the past years. Thanks to many contributors on this blog, my viewpoints on Scientology, philosophy and life in general has markedly evolved. I am on a quest to evolve further, and I welcome your input as to how I can best improve on the above points.
BTW; This is my post #500 on this blog. Perhaps it will mark an improved Geir 🙂
46 thoughts on “I am wrong.”
Congratulations on your 500th post on your blog, G!
And no need to apologize for being a work in progress. Your blog helped me to see a lot of things I was wrong about, too.
As humans, we need each other to see what we can’t see at the time. We need to be reminded from time to time of things we forgot. And we need assistance when we bog down or lose our way. We also need to be right when another is being wrong. In this way, we trade with each other and play “give and take”.
Bottom line: Human beings are basically social.
Thanks for the compliments, Alanzo. Any suggestions for improvements?
Nope. None whatsoever.
I am with Alanzo. Thank you Geir for this enlightening post. I can see myself in many of yours and have some of my own. Too busy to think about right now, but an excellent idea and will do!
Just happened upon this post, as it must have been meant to be. Love you!
Love you too @):-
😀 😀 😀
Even though I do not agree with what you write all the time, I have always enjoyed reading your blog. I also enjoy reading the responses of the other readers of your blog.
WE are all a work in progress.
To Apologize, IS growing step. It is a movement forward, because it shows, you see something you did not see before.
Also, accepting an apology is a movement forward as well, because it shows that One is free and can let go.
I believe you have helped more people than you might think.
Keep doing the good work you do.
One of my favorite practical jokes.
SETTING: I am in a friendly disagreement with someone, and I realize I am wrong.
ME: “Okay look let’s make a bet over a coffee, if I’m wrong will you buy me a coffee?”
MY MARK: “Yes.”
ME: “I’m wrong.”
MY MARK: “…”
It’s AMAZING how often this works!
And congratulations on 500 posts!
Geir. My friend, I said it right in the beginning of our relationship. Your friendliness, and openness to new and innovative people and their ideas, was/ is a welcome change from the firefights that prevailed on other sites/blogs.
I immediately felt at home here, as i still do. Your demeanor, forthright without being abrasive (until pushed over the ‘inevitable’ edge 🙂 ) Spelled out an amazing willingness to learn from so many sources (including the subject of this OP, of course 😀 )
Your persistence with this item, is a tribute to your real heart. I can see that in your ease of issuing apologies, instead of going after provocation.
Like I said in my previous comment, I struggle to see why a person needs to sweat all the small stuff, just for the sake of “being right”. With the devastating and unexpected loss of my life partner, Dorothy on the 07/01/16, these silly little phobias of “being wrong”, seem so futile and meaningless to me.
One’s life (that of any one of us) COULD, through sudden & unexpected circumstances, also be over in a flash. For God’s sake — i appeal to each one of you, why try to be “right” at the expense of learning the value/ ABILITY to be WRONG!
That’s all I’m suggesting/ asking for here. Life is too short, to insist on taking everything (including the obsession to avoid being WRONG) too seriously.
Pfft. I can’t even get up enough willing to get my house in order, let alone suggest how you can improve.
I would have traded some of that adventure I went through years ago for some of your calmness. I am only now getting some calmness in my life, but I had to go the other way of taking opposing views out of my immediate environment.
My only advice would be for you to count your blessings even more, because I count your blessings when I feel down, and I wish for more blessings for you, not out of some kissing up, but for my own selfish reasons of watching someone(s) enjoy life as I perceive it was meant to be.
Count my blessings… That’s a very good advice. Count my blessings should make my blessings count more.
Geir – Very well done on your 500th post anniversary. To find something which could be better I don’t equate with being “wrong.” But we won’t quibble over the word. You should be validated for the ability to see where you are/were flawed, and where you strive to be better. We are all works in progress. That ends when we are dead and you are a long way from that point.
You have demonstrated a willingness to reach into areas of discussion, areas of contention, and the ability to be open to the many and varied components and people in this open forum which reaches around the world.
To see where you can be better shows that you are not fixed.
“Those who do not move, do not notice their chains.”
– Rosa Luxemburg
I appreciate you moving and looking and writing and allowing us to be part of your thinking out loud. I thank you.
G-man, hope you get it all straightened out before the baby comes. Change gonna come.
“I am trying to figure out how to improve the sense of adventure and lose some of that calm harmony. Anyone willing to trade?”
Zest and excitement is an abstraction. Splurge on it!
Example: I am sitting at my computer. Earlier today, I was shopping and buying from some Chinese lady in Shenzhen. Afterwards, I wondered at their schedule, the lady’s desk, office, etc.,. I’ve conversed with her for years and without knowing her as well as I do the rest of you here, we’re yet on a first name basis. She has given me advice on purchasing in China and I in turn have invited her to my home in Phoenix (so what else is new?) I was wondering at where she will eat tonight and what her apartment is like, whether she drives, buses or rides a bike or walks to work. All the usual curiosity. Then turning it around, I pretended to be her wondering about me. My home, wife, family, cars, school, work, office, food… And it came home to me how exotic adventurous is my life from her point of view. I found my heart rate increased and feeling very sophisticated and worldly since neither she nor her friends have ever visited Phoenix ARIZONA USA. I thought, how lucky and fulfilling my life is to be living out my life in my own shoes!
Or come out to visit again, a boy’s trip. Bring your son(s) (or not) and we’ll go camping and poaching and risk getting caught and jailed!
OR just take Anette in your arms and stand on that balcony and watch the stars and stare into the stars that are her eyes and wonder at how you don’t fall off the earth into outer spacetime!
There are a lot of ways to skin this cat.
Geir, congratulations on your 500th blog post. And what a good post you wrote to commemorate it. I have to give you a lot of credit – big time kudos to you!
I also liked every single reply so far, each of which is totally valid and well said.
I’ll comment on this part of the blog post:
“While my journey to OT 8 in Scientology has given me huge improvements in harmony, resilience and ability to ‘letting go,’ these very gains has also deprived my life of some excitement and zest. I am trying to figure out how to improve the sense of adventure and lose some of that calm harmony.”
The above reminded me of what you said one time about having experienced Serenity and choosing adventure and excitement instead.
In the video below, Adyashanti talks about there being three aspects to Awakening. Here’s part of a review of that “model” (which is his word for it because, as he says, it is just a way to communicate about Awakening):
“Awakening can happen on the level of mind (identity as emptiness/ space/ open awareness)—awakening as the transcendent ‘I am.’ The ‘neti, neti’ inquiry process very likely to produce this awakening. (That is to say, Advaita.)
“Or awakening can happen on the level of heart—awakening as intimacy, no-separation, a trans-rational ‘seeing through the veil’ to the immanent. (A fuzzy, concept-driven approach to this is the New Age dictum about ‘oneness.’)
“Or awakening can happen on the gut level—the fear-based ‘clench’ of self can let go to the sense of ‘no-self.’
“It can happen on more than one level at a time; it can happen in any order—and it can so disorder and frighten the individual that he or she wants to ‘go back to sleep.’ And something like that can happen, temporarily, perhaps even permanently. Adya refers to ‘spiritual shipwrecks’– the result of awakenings not carried through the process of adapting to the shift in identity. That shift entails an altered relationship to life.”
p.s. I wasn’t trying to suggest any particular path, just the idea of continuing on the spiritual path of your choice – although you may very well be doing that! 😉
Well, I am a crazy initiatives and pure art oriented person. Let’s celebrate this # 500 post which makes this blog a kind of virtual bible. My recommendation would be: to create a link at the home page leading to an index of the 500 hypertext post titles. Congratulations Geir for your editorial success !!! 😀 .
Geir , congratulations on your 500th post , and on your capacity/willingness to assess your “weak” spots to improve them. I have always admired that individual that can look back at himself from out of the window of his universe.
Regarding your list of “things to improve” , I got to say that I share many of them myself. So I’ll offer you my input on how I’ve dealt with them , am dealing with them , or plan to deal with them.
Geir : “I bog down to perfecting details when I lose strong interests in important games in life.”
Peter : Me too. Regardless whether LRH mentioned this or not , I’ve found out that disinterest is directly proportional to the amount of accumulated stops , and indirectly proportional to a constant K (is not really a “constant” as processing/learning increases its value) which measures our “Theta endowment” or “Theta-energy level” , our “Elan Vital”.
D = S/K
Where D = Disinterest , S = number of stops , and K = Degree of “Elan Vital” or “Life Force”.
The bigger K , the less the amount of stops increases “Disinterest”. The less K , the more fewer stops increases “Disinterest”. When you have zero stops , S = 0 , then K is at its maximum expression.
There is another formula/relationship ,
LI = UP
LI (Life Interest) = UP (Unsuppressed Purposes)
Also LI = RP
Life Interest = Rekindled Purposes
And D = FP, Disinterest = Failed Purposes
Play for a while with those formulas/relationships with a pencil and some drawings , as it applies/applied to your life. You may have a few cognitions.
Note : By the way , LRH never mentioned HOW to rekindle failed purposes ; he just said that to restore life and interest all one needed to do was to “Rekindle the fail purposes , and the stops at once will blow”.
This is how I’ve done it before. It has worked for me with varying degrees of success , but always with cogs/wins.
1. Locate a purpose you had always wanted to engage in , but that are not currently working on, or if working on it, you feel sort of bog on it , or not that enthusiastic about it.
2. Recall the first time you had that purpose in your life, and feel the emotion that you had at the time. Recover your thoughts about it. Recover the “reason” why you wanted to do that.
3. From that moment on and up to PT, Scan all times that the purpose was obstructed by other determinisms. Do this to a big cog or a win and with your attention extroverted in your environment.
3. Recall the earliest time that you invalidated that purpose yourself.
4. Scan from that time to PT all times that you did so to a big cog/win and extroverted into PT. Concentrate on the thoughts you had at the time.
5. Reassess how you feel about purpose now. Is that something that you still want to do ?
Geir : “I find it hard to get started on new directions in life. Instead I keep polishing what is already quite perfect.”
Peter : Me too. An excellent book that is helping me a lot with that is Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”. I’ve not seen so far any better book than that for that sort of situation. Read it , and you’ll understand why. You can download it free online.
I severely suffer from procrastination and Q&A with important cycles of action. That book is helping me with it.
Geir : “I get too emotionally engaged in discussions where I am certain I am right. That’s when I become an asshole. It can turn out quite counter-productive as it can drive another to be even more insisting on being right.”
Peter : My brother!!!
The way I am just beginning to handle it is to ask myself these questions :
1. What product am I trying to achieve is the discussion/debate ? What’s the “End Result” I am after ?
2. Is it to make the other wrong ? Is it to genuinely teach him/her something for his OWN benefit ?
3. Analyze well the other poster’s arguments, and try to fully duplicate his/her comments. If you are even a 1% unsure regarding what the poster meant by some specific comment of his, do not assume you know but ASK him. Clarify the origination.
4. Use a system of “Question and Answer” (literally Q&A with his answers) to “lead” him/her to understanding your points, and even to get HIM/HER to understand his/her OWN points. That’s called Two-way Comm. A lot can be done , I’ve recently found, by just asking questions, and letting the other answer, making sure that he/she ACTUALLY answers them. But do not ask them in an accusative or challenging way, but just out if curiosity.
5. Ack EVERYTHING the poster says. Do not assume that he/she got your ack, but make sure he/she understand that you duplicated him/her.
Geir : “In an effort to assert my own rightness in a discussion, I can forget to really listen to and understand the other person.
Peter : Me too , and frequently so. See my handling above.
Geir : “In an effort to assert my own rightness in a discussion, I can forget to compliment the other person for valuable input.”
Peter : Me too. That’s call TR-4 correctly done. Not “Session TR-4” , but “Life TR-4” ; two different things. TR-4 correctly done is the most extraordinary tool to handle people and stay in good ARC with them. Shreffler is a master at that. Re-watch his videos, all of them , in a new unit of time.
Geir : “I can get blinded by the contents of a discussion and often disregard the form of the discussion.”
Peter : Me too ; ask Marildi !!! ; handled or improved by the above suggestions as well
Geir : “I tend to focus on logic and disregard factors that are often more important, such as pure art, crazy initiatives and “batshit” as Katageek would call it.”
Peter : Yeah , I became aware of that point when you kept on using a Theory of Set “logic” in our debate about “Scientology : Religion or cult or both”. You then switched to another approach – the one where the Human Equation (which includes emotions, mr Vulcan friend , Jjjj ) was taken into account – and VERY cleverly worked a strategy where you KNEW that I would FULLY research the topic before replying to you ; and that the obvious end result would be that I would find ALL of those “religions” in the cult category as well. You didn’t think that I had not understood your strategy since you first thought of it , did you ? :-))) , you just caught me with it , as I knew since question #2 , that I had no way out then , but to “confess”. :-))) Well played !!!
Geir : “While my journey to OT 8 in Scientology has given me huge improvements in harmony, resilience and ability to “letting go”, these very gains has also deprived my life of some excitement and zest. I am trying to figure out how to improve the sense of adventure and lose some of that calm harmony. Anyone willing to trade?”
Peter : The “Sense of adventure” and the “Calm harmony” can perfectly co-exist ; have you thought about that ? What you seems to be looking for is for the “Spirit of Play”. Are you 100% certain that you are doing what you love to do in life ? (just some food for thought). That what you are doing , you can do it for hours w/out getting tired at all, where the hours pass by w/out you even noticing it ?
Did you consider OT8 as some “End product” in life , and ended some cycle in your mind after you completed that level ? Like , “You had already made it” , kind of assertion ? Did that ever happen to you ? Did you had specific processing/life goals that were accomplished with OT8, and forgot to set new ones ?
Remember , calm and adventure are not necessarily contradictory to each other, but can perfectly co-exist. In fact , the pair is complementary. :-)))
Hope any of that helps , Geir. Any blog is as interesting and educational as his moderator is . Your blog is VERY unique, indeed. You will always have success in your life ; I can guarantee that.
Wow. What a post. Now, This is food for thought. And you know how to kindle my interest – including equations 🙂
I will chew on this and answer more, but here’s a quick one on the OT8: It was never a huge goal for me – more like an adventure to see what will come next. Two primary goals I have is to not blank out so much between life times and also to remain exterior with full perception at will. OT8 did not provide that, and so I am still searching (not quite sure what will get me this, though).
Geir : “Wow. What a post. Now, This is food for thought. And you know how to kindle my interest – including equations 🙂 ”
Peter : Jjjjj , thanks, Geir.
Geir : “I will chew on this and answer more, but here’s a quick one on the OT8: It was never a huge goal for me – more like an adventure to see what will come next.”
Peter : Got it.
Geir : “Two primary goals I have is to not blank out so much between life times and also to remain exterior with full perception at will.”
Peter : It seems we operate in similar wavelengths ; I have the same goals with some minor difference : I AM NOT COMING BACK TO THE “BEING A HUMAN” GAME AGAIN. The capitalization is to remind myself of that decision , and to not Q&A with it. Hell no , this is the most silly game that a being can ever play , and my respect for the ones who wants to play it. Thanks but not thanks ; I’ll pass on that. The only reason I am still here is because of my family and my dear daughter. If not , I would have taken my changes a VERY long time ago.
The human existence is just too full of paradoxes and desires for petty , 3rd rate sensations like eating and sex. Not really a game for me, really. I don’t even know what the fuck I am doing here to begin with. Must have been an implant as I would not have chosen it willingly. Not in a million years, no.
I chose the pen name “Theta Clear” as that became my life goal since the early ’80s when I first heard of the term. I have studied ALL methods researched by LRH to allegedly accomplish that. Applied a lot of them as Solo-auditing for a LOT of hours with many good changes and wins except stable exteriorization with full perception. This lead me to research the alleged EPs of the Ls , specially L-12 by interviewing several Ls completions, but NONE of them had that ability nor ever had it during the Ls processing.
The few ones that had it to varying degrees of stability (never something stable and under their control) , didn’t have it necessarily because of Scientology , but due to other case factors that somehow that had handled in life , or didn’t have it at all , before Scientology.
I still need to test some of LRH’s methods before discarding them altogether ; but I don’t feel too hopeful with them, to tell you the truth. LRH was always about the hype of it all , which is what piss me off the most ; the dishonesty of it all. If I would have known that Exteriorization at will with full perception , was not something attainable with the Bridge to Nowhere , I would never had stayed in Scn for so long. I ONLY stayed seeking to attain that state , and for nothing more, except perhaps to recover (as I had it before Scientology) the Spirit of Play.
Geir : “OT8 did not provide that, and so I am still searching (not quite sure what will get me this, though).
Peter : Got it. I am in the same search , and I don’t play with metaphysical mumbo-jumbo and Astral Projection BS , and other “Let’s all hold our hands and chant together” silly activities. I am doing this for REAL , to find a way that I can fully demonstrate to others , and that I can then teach others how to do it. So for sure , I’ll keep you fully posted of anything I do discover about it , but in a scientific methodological way, you know. No mumbo-jumbo abstractions , and anecdotal evidence , but the real “can be scientifically tested” way.
Freebeing was telling me the other day about this website where this scientist developed some exteriorization methods using some CDs , based of the premise that the exteriorization problem is a problem with specific frequencies in the ELF band (Extremely Low Frequencies). I haven’t studied his method in detail , nor have tested it , but I will soon , and will keep you posted of any results/discoveries.
Regarding the “Blank out” thing ; that might have something to do with ELF as well. With learning how to create them , and control them at will. It is just a hunch, you know. I think it is a problem of specific frequencies.
This would be like full time da Ja vu?
deja vu *
(Sorry for lazy spelling)
So the experience you are looking for is like full time deja vu.
Thank you for a reminder of an exercise I used to do that had my interest years ago, before I was rudely stopped.
I don’t know the outcome, but some OTs absolutely did not want me doing it. Silly.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
I’ve never had a problem admitting I was wrong. I was wrong for getting too involved with scientology as the only solution to man’s problems. But, I was convinced along that path that it was, opps, my bad.
One of my bads was joining staff. That was a wrong decision, but I thought I was joining the winning team and I was convinced by Ron himself..
Don’t know if any of you folks here joined staff and worked for a 5 year contract or a SO contract?
I know Alanzo did.
You Geir, did not, although you were asked or told by DM to be a ED and refused. Good on you, I really mean that.
The whole staff experience is one experience that is totally different from the public experience. I do not care what position one holds in a scientology organization, every position is but a clone of LRH and a sales & marketing position hidden under the guise of some title to achieve some unattainable state of clear and then OT.
If it were only true.
You tried to save the planet and make a better world. That’s fucking noble. Thank you for DOING SOMETHING.
one could say I’ve joined the white rose
and even the Junto Club
Thank you for doing MORE! Great links! I was oblivious to both of them.
I don’t need any thanks, but thanks.
I consider anybody who was a scientologist who now speaks out as a White Rose.
Anybody who speaks out against the scientology is not a critic, but a critical thinker, if you will.
I consider a blog like this one as a Junto Club.
I was staff for half a year back in 1985…
“…by Ron himself. ” Interesting, care to elaborate?
sure, let me clarify. I only meant by Ron’s writings in PL’s, books and lectures that convinced me to join the so called winning team of scientology, not Ron personally.
I didn’t know you were on staff, how come only a half year?
I could only take fascism for so long.
On another recent blog exchange with Geir, I was wrong to not admit that, ” . . . there is a possibility of free will.” I had no falsifying evidence of there being free will. I had my reasons but no empirical evidence, just an observation about the large and small orders of magnitude of the physical universe, almost all of which remains unexplored. I am also wrong not to admit that God may have created the entire universe 6,000 or so years ago complete with fossil record. I have no empirical evidence of this not happening. In fact, God may have created the entire universe just this moment, complete with me typing away at this blog, complete with memories of myself in relation to my life. I have no evidence of this not happening.
And maybe others could be wrong as well, 😀 .
Love this guy!
Good post Rafael SN.
ADVICE: Because of the very long lasting reverberating effects of a life in Scientology and other cult religions and practices, I admonish anyone involved to be tuned up and watchful for oddball effects springing up far into the future. My own estimate is 1:1 ratio for everyday IN, at least one day of UNRAVELLING. Long after one is done, one should be watchful and anticipating sometimes alarming reactions which are the results of their Scientology conditioning. Others might want to comment about this 1:1 ratio whether is your experience or not.
Happy Easter, Geir! And Happy Easter! to all of you on this community who’s celebrating Easter today. Not my case, we have Easter lately this year, on May 1st, but I wish everybody who’s having today a wonderful Easter Sunday all the best possible!
Thank you Dragos! 🙂
Thank you Dragos! Happy Easter to you my friend.
Happy to read this 500th post since it popped out to me. Congrats Geir!
I’ve been completely embroiled with moving and selling my house going on almost a year now and blah, blah, blah! It’s not over yet. When ready, I’ll get back to include watching this blog. Good to read all the nice comments and see familiar people again.
I have an idea how could you continualy improve. Spot the idea or emotion you have about some state or process you perceive in the external world or in your own mind and apply this self-reflection question many times again and again to that: What Am I thinking and feeling about it? The outcomes of this process are always surprising me wonderfuly.
Example: state you perceive: I see the sun. Ok. Self-reflection q: What Am I thinking and feeling about the sun? Answer: I am feeling it is hot and I am thinking it gives a life. Ok. What am I thinking and feeling about the hotness and life givingness of sun? A: I am thinking it is important for us. Q: What Am I thinking and feeling about importance of sun because it is hot and life giving? A: I am thinking that all things that support survival are important. Q: What Am I thinking and feeling about it all? A: I am thinking and feeling it is very important to cause only that is survival supporting. Q: What Am I thinking and feeling about it? A: Woow, I have just decided to do as life supportive actions as am capable of!!!….
My personal opinion is that it is not neccessary to have any identity to be able to create something. I think that it is far better to desidentifing from fixed identities and be inly MYSELF, ME. From that position it is far more flexible and easier to create anything.
Example: if I fix myself into the identity of fisher and then I will go fishing, my viewpoint will be narrow and my actions-emotions-thoughts will be also in limiting frame. But if I go fishing and stay only JustMe, Myself, JustMyself, I also can fish successfuly and my viewpoint will be much, much wider and much more flexible. And my thoughts-emotions-actions will be far richer in variery,too…
Adcvice: Just try to ask yourself the question: Who Am I not? and you will have your own personal experience…I am who I am and it is all I am and I do not need any other labels.