Scientology United vs. Critic Rovers

On the Lighter Side, we have three soccer teams; Scientology United, Critic Rovers and the Indy Rangers,

How would you put together the three soccer teams? Who would be the best strikers, mid-fielders, defenders and goal keepers for the three teams?

The ball is yours!

PS: For the non-insiders: Scientology United would be a team comprising people from the Church of Scientology, the Indy Rangers would be independent Scientologists outside the church and the Critic Rovers would be prominent critics of Scientology.

You may pitch in with other roles as well, such as the coach, the team physician, massage therapist, etc.

81 thoughts on “Scientology United vs. Critic Rovers

  1. “pitch in with other roles as well, such as the coach, the team physician, massage therapist, etc.”

    I don’t see myself as a team player quite.
    However, here’s some ideas of roles one could have in this game:

    The coach would have them do it his way;
    The physician would prescribe what ‘s needed and the nurse would take on the healing of hurts;
    The massage therapist gives some good massaging of words that people would like to hear;
    The scorekeeper or bookkeeper would keep exact records;
    The teacher would try to educate;
    The watcher would watch and take it all in;
    The umpire would be the judge;
    The minister would show compassion and understanding;
    The water boy would nourish and put forth humor for dryness;
    The yards person would provide a place to play and keep it clean.
    The cheer leaders could keep spirits high, provide more dopamine;
    Then there’s the overseer who DGaF anyway who wins because he already knows.
    Well, not sure where I fit, tho could play many roles at any given time and place.

    1. I volunteer to be a cheerleader! That way I get to wear short skirts, wave my pom poms and jump up and down, screaming with ecstacy and getting the crowd roaring! That would be loads of fun!

  2. I propose for the Indy team: Marty as a striker, Steve Hall as his right wing striker, Valkov as the left striker, Sinar as a mid-fielder, Mike as a mid-fielder, Marildi as the goal keeper. Who else?

    As for the Scientology United: David Miscavige as the striker and team captain and midfielder and defender and goal keeper and coach and Tom Cruise as the waterboy.

    The Critic Rovers: Alanzo as striker, all of the ESMB as left and right strikers. Anonymous as the mid field, Andreas Heldal-Lund and Tory Christman as defence. Who would be the goal keeper?

        1. What you mean is, they’d issue an All Hands call, and half a dozen people would show up, so Tiny Dave would ragequit the match and spend 90 minutes beating up a corner flag and issuing cards (Yellow = Booking, Red = Sent Off, Gold = SP Declare)

          Meanwhile, Anonymous would field their own team of iconic figures – Longcat in goal, King Leonidas as midfield general, Rick Astley and Raptor Jesus up front, moot as manager – And keep referring to the game as “divegrass”

    1. Would you mind me replacing Marildi in the goal? I’m quite tall, but condition of my right ankle doesn’t allow me play in the field.

      1. I wouldn’t stand a chance against Marildi as a goal keeper. She wouldn’t for the life in her concede a goal, ever.

            1. That’s your interpretation based on your own filters. With my filters, I see you as always looking for ways to criticize another man’s theories to the inch of your life. 🙂

        1. They are playing sandlot soccer. Hall and Logan split off from Indies to call themselves Indies cuz Hall owns the web site and logo. Lord knows who will get the 2013 Indie picnic!

          Why? It seems Marty didn’t kneel before KSW.

    2. Mark Bunker. He is stable and self-confident and on very good terms with Tory, the defense. He has a good line with Anonymous and doesn’t play foul even when getting provoked.

    3. Pretty good typecasting. 😀

      But right now I don’t think Steve Hall and Marty would agree to be on the same team. You gotta have two Indie teams, one for the Orthodox Indies and one for the Reformists.

      Add Dragos as the massage therapist for all teams. And 2ndxmr as the referee.

  3. Katageek for tv commentator! Above the fracas, ‘y’know Mike, its all about the dopamine’

  4. Geir, what about non scientologists that partially agree with scientology? I demand my rights as minority!

  5. Geir: You need to add another team. You must split the Indies into Reformist Indies and Orthodox Indies or you’ll never get a team together for the Indies. It is also possible that you will need to form a Freezone team. YIKES!

    1. Oh yeah, we do need a Freezone team! Its members would include Ferenc, Spyros, Marianne, and Elizabeth.

        1. I think of the Freezone as including anyone and everyone who carries on after being in Scientology, whether they use standard tech or expand upon it. The ones I named I think fit into the category of expanding upon it beyond what the CoS is doing now or even what it has done in the past.

          1. I could be on the side line looking after the injured egos after all i am a white haired kind hearted old lady and that is that valance for! [PS i am also ful of …]

            1. Elizabeth: I could be on the side line looking after the injured egos after all i am a white haired kind hearted old lady and that is that valance for! [PS i am also ful of …]

              Chris: You can put hot liniment on the skin of the wounded egos – When any players bitch that it burns, you can tell them MUSH !

  6. Massage therapist? hahahaha Well, I’m a real one, a genuine massage therapist, but…thanks! I prefer to stay away of those 3 teams. Have enough problems with my knee, don’t need other injuries 🙂

    1. Dragos, I agree that you shouldn’t be on any of these teams – since you hold none of these “belief systems”. And yes, as we all know, you are a genuine massage therapist. I just wanted to include you in this imaginary scenario and that was the obvious way. 😉

          1. you left off one ha….
            here is a bit of info…. body=ego… while one has the body as a anchor point one has attitudes…you see, the value is in the pluses and the minuses of any game… and the games only exist because it has those elements.. ego=value regardless what that may be.

  7. Geir, there is definitely a problem with email notifications. I know for sure that I’m not getting some of them. I see comments on this thread that I should have gotten a notification for but didn’t. Same for the “Scientology – does it work?” thread. I’m not sure of any others.

      1. Fine for me too. I select the notification box each time I post. I have received all these above.

            1. Eliz: Oh, thank you… thought so since I have not seen other comments being moderated.

              Chris: LOL – now I have to tease – you can’t see other comments in moderation because they are in moderation. By the time you see a comment, it is no longer in moderation!

            2. lol lol??? You old bird,, no lol… “) because other comments from me got istantly posted… only the one went into moderation in where I have sent links to Maria about music.
              By the way I have writen to Vinay and told him that we miss him, I miss him and asked him to come back with his load of 2 cents..
              By the way I been thinking that I would be a good referee for the invisible team since I can see moving energy flows-masses which are invisible to the eyes… What do you think?
              Did I ever tell you that one of my best roles was when I played the jester, the idiot in some royal court…being a idiot is a wonderful valance to hide behind.. my point? There is one…people love you, one becomes popular because they feel superior to you.. there is more of course.. Have a lovely day!

            3. Yes, the “idiot”, the “jester” is an attractive role. But in the old days sometimes it did put one at risk for being beheaded if the king didn’ tlike a joke….

            4. Valkov… great role to be a jester, that too could happen[ heads off] but this time i was his”’ secret adviser” When one is a idiot that one can be in places and no one pays much attention to ones presence. ” I have had sessions on ” being a idiot” because i used to believe that I was, it is a complex subject..[ i am still is that idiot in many ways, i think that part in my mock up good as any other]
              But cant fool every one, not those who are aware because they can ”read” the under currents, understand that the valance is not real..
              For example in this blog one bloger uses a wonderful brilliant valance and I have recognized it is such..Some bloggers put their heart on the platter others present something which do not inicate at all how they real feel and are..I could make a list hehehe. but again that to would be my reality.

            5. Va… Of course in session I have found the reasons why the so ”called”idiots are such as. they used to be called different name like” retarded, mad mentally ill, Mongoloid, not all there,etc. Interestingly not one of those beings or me when i played those roles and used valances are any less brilliant than the best of the best… All that is just part of the game in many case it was used as a defence mechanism. Dont hurt me, or i am not dangerous, nothing here which could harm you.

  8. Just watched a fascinating piece of history on a few Norweigans who stopped Hitler from developing atom bomb in ’43 I believe. Those guys would make my soccer team

            1. Elizabeth,

              it usually means Rolling On The Floor With Laughter!

              Or maybe Rolling On The Floor With Lancelot? (or Larry? or….?)

              My apologies, MT.

      1. Details…details….geez 🙂

        Way I figure it, those were some amazing beings, and seeing how we are spiritual beings who live multiple lifetimes, those gents might just possibly be 20 year old scrappin’ young men. If they could pull off that feat I mentioned, I like my chances.

        Shall I put out a postulate and round up a team?

          1. Exactly! Saw that team skiied 400 miles in terrain that was considered uninhabitable. Sinking that ship sent that “heavy water” down to the bottom of that fjord ending Hitlers chance at the bomb. The guy who sunk that boat was the only one who stayed around on the ground as their first attempt failed to stop production. It saddens me to watch what life was like in 30s-40s during Nazi years…but I can’t watch enough of it. I”m sure you’ve got loads of stories that have been passed down to you about what it was like.

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