The critic’s problem

What very few critics of Scientology (or any other betterment activity) realize is that they are undermining another’s purpose.

When a person enters Scientology or any of the thousands of self-betterment activities in the world, that person has an underlying purpose for some kind of improvement. It can be anything from handling a problem to improving a situation. This purpose can be so strong as to blind him from any negative effects of the path or method he now trusts.

And then a critic enters.

Whenever you criticizes another’s beliefs, you attack this underlying purpose of improvement. You corrode his trust in something good. The method may be mad according to you, but his underlying purpose of improvement is almost always good. You may not realize this, but this is usually why the believer reacts so violently to your criticism – often with stupid justifications or “logic”.

The solution should always be to present a better method for the person to realize his underlying purpose. But alas, this is so much harder and requires so much more responsibility on your part. It is far easier to slash away with harsh criticism than to help the other find a better way.

What belief can do

Belief can make you stupid.

When you believe something strongly, when you firmly hold an opinion, you can end up spending your intelligence on justifying or explaining away facts that are contrary to your belief. Your intelligence and power of reasoning could be better spend on constructive efforts like fixing the flaws in your beliefs or creating something new.

We see this in politics every day – trying to justify one’s own position instead of keeping the eye on the ball, the result… a better society.

Marty Rathbun’s latest latest blog post is an excellent example of a guy justifying his beliefs. Mike Rinder’s comment inspired me to write this post here. Scientologists become experts in justifications as they are told to believe that the subject is The Only Way to salvation. When cracks become visible – they start justifying why the cracks are not there or why they are there for a greater reason. After years of studying the subject, they become extremely skillful in this. This may be the reason why Scientology is and should remain a religion. It is a belief system. It could move into the category of science, but not without inflicting severe pain in its justifiers.

Science is the practice of doing away with one’s beliefs and replacing them with knowledge.

Beliefs are healthy and important when they serve as motivation toward a goal. Beliefs are great for urging to action, but a substitute when used to explain what is.

Mastery

Put simply:

Transcript:

We don’t care about money.
All I want to do is make bet­ter sushi.
I do the same thing over and over, improving bit by bit.
There is always a year­ning to achieve more.
I’ll con­ti­nue to climb, trying to reach the top, but no one knows where the top is.
Even at my age, after deca­des of work, I don’t think I’ve achie­ved perfection.
But I feel ecs­ta­tic all day… I love making sushi.
That’s the spi­rit of the sho­ku­nin.
When to quit? The job you’ve wor­ked so hard for?
I’ve never once hated this job.
I fell in love with my work and gave my life to it.
Even though I’m 85 years old, I don’t feel like retiring.
That’s how I feel.

Thanks to Hugh for the tip.

Feel free to ask

q

When the traffic gets high, when posts get more than 500 or even a 1000 comments, I am bound to miss questions from my readers.

I want to answer your questions, and to ensure you are not left without an answer, I propose you ask any questions you may have to me as comments to this blog post.

Just add your question as a comment here and I will get back to you with an answer. Ask anything – from my views on life, IT, Scientology, my favorite HP calculator, music, art, preferences in any part of life or whatever else you may have on your mind. Do not hold back. I am not shy.

This post is not an arena for long discussions – or I may again miss some questions buried in long threads. Interesting topics may instead earn separate blog posts.

Read this

Got this cool one from Brendan tonight:

If you can raed tihs qiukcly tehn it maens taht our bairns are atuo tnued to dceihper isneatd of jsut lokonig. Pssoibly ntaures way to hlep us racet wehn dnaegr is iimmnent. My piont bieng, if it is idneed pssoilbe to jsut look? Myabe we are biult to atuo raect?

Eg. 2+2=

My brain shouts 4.

Is it possible for adults to only see “2+2=” and not answer it?

I could add that I think I would read this just the same without a brain 😉 But the point remains the same.

Scientology – does it work?

I stepped back, took a couple of breaths and then a good hard look… at the thousands of discussions on Scientology I have witnessed during the last three decades. Some in person, most online. I have come to the conclusion that discussing the content of Scientology, the processes, the policies, the cosmology, Hubbard’s life and possible intentions, Xenu, the rationale behind Dianetics, the E-meter and the rest of it is pretty useless. It is only really worthwhile to look at the actual results produced. The results is the key – the only aspect really worthy of discussion.

So, it really only boils down to: “Does it work?

Does it work for you? Does it work for Average Joe? Does it work for the society? What are the actual results produced by the church? What are the actual results produced by the individuals and groups applying it? Is it beneficial? And does it produce the advertised results? What in Scientology works? What does not?

I believe there are different answers to each of these questions. I will list some of my conclusions here:

  1. Did Scientology work for me?
    Yes. Everything I did in the church gave me valuable results. The service I did outside of the church (L 11) was fantastic.
  2. Did Scientology work for my friends?
    About 50%. Some of my friends had excellent gains from their auditing and training, others had little, no or even negative results. Some crashed. In this category I have little experience with friends doing Scientology in the independent field.
  3. Does it work for Average Joe?
    Well… something like 95% of the people that get into Scientology bounce off like a tennis ball off a wall.
  4. Does Scientology benefit society?
    Insignificant. It’s irrelevant to the world at large – from its inception to present time.
  5. Does auditing work?
    To a large extent: Yes. Almost all the people I know that have gotten Scientology counseling inside or outside of the church are very happy with the gains they have gotten. They do however tend to worry more about their own issues after having started getting Scientology auditing – they tend to introspect more.
  6. Does Scientology training work?
    Usually. The training is lacking the component of an instructor that help bring the material to life. Thus, the training tends to be more “dry” than other comparable training in society.
  7. Does Hubbard’s administrative technology work?
    No. It’s a disaster. This is the single most dominant factor why people shun Scientology and why people leave it in droves – despite the gains that can be had through auditing and training. In this body of knowledge you find horrendous policies on how to handle enemies, policies on disconnection, volumes of details resulting in over-bureacuracy, micromanagement and stripping of employees creativity, etc. It’s perfect for creating and managing an organization of robots. I suspect that a group delivering Scientology auditing and training without the Admin Tech as a yoke would do quite well and get a large percentage of happy clients.
  8. Does Scientology produce the advertised results?
    As a whole: No. There are no OTs produced as advertised by Hubbard. Neither are there any Clears by the original definition in Diantecs. But certain training courses and auditing levels does produce the advertised results most of the time.

These are my current conclusions, subject to future revisions.

Update: With more than 1500 comments on this blog post – I hope to carry the discussions over to a new blog post, titled “Scientology – does it work? (cont.)“.

The secret keys in coaching

I have coached several hundred people in all walks of life. From executives of international companies and housewives to artists, top athletes and business people of widely different trades.

I have used many different tools and methods to help others. And the coaching has almost uniformly resulted in great success. But it is only recently that I managed to distill the reasons for success into two simple keys:

  1. Remain mentally fully present and uncover what the person really needs and wants. Find the goal of the coaching from the person, and not from your own assumptions or preconceived ideas.
  2. Help the person to not give a fuck.

That’s it.

Sure, there are perhaps many different aspects of life the person needs to tackle. But from my experience, a person’s inability to handle a situation is always linked to the person’s own tension, stress or drama. He simply cannot let go of being uptight about the problem. The problem is never that serious, and the less serious the person thinks the problem is, the better equipped he is in handling it. Usually, the person knows how to handle the situation, he only needs to let go of the up-tightness, simmer down and do what he knows is right. Sometimes the person needs some new knowledge – then I help him get that. But as long as the person remains uptight and serious, he won’t be of much use to himself.

And the best way to help the person not give a fuck is to get him to start doing something about the problem he is facing. Not to indulge in mental exercises, visualizings, meditations or other indirect attempts. A gradual tackling of the actual situation will help him see that the mountain is not unsurmountable. Get him to clean out the garage, talk to his wife, quit the job he hates, whatever. Tackle the main problem, not anything else. No beating around the bush. This will ease the tension. And he will relax. Finally, he will be on top of the situation, any situation. Be there for him. All the way.

Try it.

Update: Anette pointed me in the direction of this great article on this subject.

My current quests

…or at least two of them are:

  1. Remove my expectations in life
  2. Remove my labels in life

In the first quest I seek to rid myself of any expectations. I have yet to find a good and solid business case for having expectations. They are great for generating disappointments, but not for much else. They detract from fully experiencing the here and now by putting some of my attention into the future. I would rather live here and now.

In the second quest, I seek to observe situations and people without labeling. Seeing people for what they truly are instead of seeing them through filters such as “Wog”, “Gay”, “Terrorist”, “Strange”, “Jerk”, “SP”, or some such.

I still have expectations and I still use labels. These are quests. I am a work in progress 🙂

What are your quests in life?

Harmony

I used to feel most harmonious alone. Away from the intentions of others to change me, shape me or nudge my ways just the slightest in some direction. Away from explicit of unspoken criticism, silent treatments or looks of disapproval.

I have since a long time now felt great alone. Total harmony, no issues, no unwanted (by me) thoughts or behavior. Great bliss.

alone

I am a rebel, yes. But with a cause. Not conforming to certain norms or set behaviors. Not using the fork correctly, talking to the right people at the right times or utilizing the appropriate phrases at conservative social gatherings. All true. But in turning the table, I wouldn’t care. It didn’t matter to me if people were conforming, if they were socially odd or spent too much time playing Lego with the kids instead of talking to the right people at the wedding party.

Very seldom did I feel that I could be myself fully. Nowhere was this more true than in the Church of Scientology. One step out of the party-line, and it was straight into an interrogation interview with the Ethics Officer. And as I progressed up through the upper spiritual levels of Scientology (the OT levels), the demands for conformity grew beyond that of the old East Germany, the DDR.

I got fed up of the frowning or disapprovals. I quit the church. I got new friends. And tolerance became a most wanted quality in people I spend time with.

As I write this, there are a few people that I feel I can be completely free, myself and in harmony around and with. These are the people that when I am with them, I feel on par with being alone. Brendan and Anette are such remarkable people of tolerance. Grand and generous.

I will continue to seek out the grand and generous – an ongoing quest.

Would you like to share the qualities you seek in others?

A bunch of rules for happy living

  1. Get up in the morning
  2. if you feel like it.
  3. Get enough sleep.
  4. Sleep with the right person.
  5. Eat
  6. drink
  7. but not too much of either.
  8. Don’t get drunk all the time.
  9. Play
  10. but not only with yourself.
  11. Laugh your ass off
  12. often
  13. Go bat-shit crazy
  14. now and then
  15. or often.
  16. Challenge the status quo.
  17. Challenge yourself.
  18. Drop the arrogance.
  19. Care.
  20. Get enough sex
  21. but not all the time.
  22. Eat chocolate.
  23. Get a telescope.
  24. Get an HP-41 calculator.
  25. Play with it.
  26. Listen to music.
  27. Get carried away.
  28. Exercise your free will.
  29. Be a rebel.
  30. Make trouble.
  31. Avoid permanent damage.
  32. Swim naked.
  33. Tumble in the snow.
  34. Tell wild fairy tales to the kids.
  35. Lose yourself in their games.
  36. Cry during movies.
  37. Love
  38. lots.
  39. Feel
  40. a lot.
  41. And disregard rules.
  42. Make your own understanding of Life, the Universe and Everything