I used to feel most harmonious alone. Away from the intentions of others to change me, shape me or nudge my ways just the slightest in some direction. Away from explicit of unspoken criticism, silent treatments or looks of disapproval.
I have since a long time now felt great alone. Total harmony, no issues, no unwanted (by me) thoughts or behavior. Great bliss.
I am a rebel, yes. But with a cause. Not conforming to certain norms or set behaviors. Not using the fork correctly, talking to the right people at the right times or utilizing the appropriate phrases at conservative social gatherings. All true. But in turning the table, I wouldn’t care. It didn’t matter to me if people were conforming, if they were socially odd or spent too much time playing Lego with the kids instead of talking to the right people at the wedding party.
Very seldom did I feel that I could be myself fully. Nowhere was this more true than in the Church of Scientology. One step out of the party-line, and it was straight into an interrogation interview with the Ethics Officer. And as I progressed up through the upper spiritual levels of Scientology (the OT levels), the demands for conformity grew beyond that of the old East Germany, the DDR.
I got fed up of the frowning or disapprovals. I quit the church. I got new friends. And tolerance became a most wanted quality in people I spend time with.
As I write this, there are a few people that I feel I can be completely free, myself and in harmony around and with. These are the people that when I am with them, I feel on par with being alone. Brendan and Anette are such remarkable people of tolerance. Grand and generous.
I will continue to seek out the grand and generous – an ongoing quest.
Would you like to share the qualities you seek in others?
Geir Isene - uncut 
I am on the same quest, to find people who can totally resonate with what I’m trying to achieve in life. They are out there, as you have proven. I will find them.
East Germany???? hahahaha Compared with my country Romania or the USSR, East Germany was almost democratic 🙂 I’m joking 🙂 Now, seriously, the only thing I didn’t completely understood, Geir, is that if you consider your tolerance as a result of quitting the Scientology Church, or (why not!) you are a real tolerant man yourself? A native one… How is it?
I was always tolerant. But more so in my later years. Even more tolerant after I quit the church.
I know that you’re a good man. I always knew. But I was afraid that years in Scientology changed you, in a way that you couldn’t stand anymore.
Dragos, please say more about what you mean where you say ” changed you, in a way that you couldn’t stand anymore”.
Nice photo, btw. 🙂
It’s very simple. There can be situations in life in which different types of factors can change your personality more than you can accept. Having a job that you hate it, staying in a bad marriage and pretending to be what you in fact you aren’t, or, at a higher level, attending a religion in which, suddenly, you don’t find yourself anymore.
All of us, Marildi, have a summum of values, of feelings, of ideas, of principles, there are the bricks of our personality. If Geir felt that Scientology and himself has not the same direction and staying inside can harm him, well, he just jumped out the train. PS. Like my photo? Amsterdam, I was couple of years younger 🙂
Yes, it’s fun to have a picture of you. 🙂
I know what you’re saying. Different factors can take a situation or relationship in a wrong direction – even when it starts out beautiful and whole. That’s how I see Scientology, although the Independents outside of the Church intend to turn Scn back to “the basic bricks of universal personality” (paraphrasing you ;)).
As for relationships, this gives me a chance to quote for you a favorite line of mine from Dianetics. LRH was talking about relationships that have taken a wrong direction due to the “factor” of painful experiences, which cause psychological “aberration” in individuals – all of whom are natively beautiful and whole. He then says that by auditing (counseling) a couple, you may well find that “Beneath the dirty cloth of aberration, they loved each other well.” I always loved that. 🙂
This is a brilliant point, Dragos.
I have found that for myself, and many others who were involved in Scientology, that after they got out they felt that they had “changed into another person” while in.
I do know that my moral sense changed while in. I became colder to “downstats”, and less compassionate all around. But a good friend reminded me that he knew me before, during and after Scientology, and that I was always the same person throughout. It has been a huge relief to me seeing in the last few years that he was right.
You are touching on something that has been addressed as a “dissociative identity disorder”, which in a milder form is common to people who have been heavily involved and abused in cults like Scientology. Here’s more on it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disassociative#Therapist_induced
Thanks for making that point.
Alanzo
“I do know that my moral sense changed while in. I became colder to “downstats”, and less compassionate all around.” I agree, even as a public I experienced this. Good link, thanks.
You’re welcome, Alanzo 🙂 And please believe me that my points of view are totally neutral, cause I was never involved in Scientology. Before being part of this blog I barely knew something about it. Like everybody, I knew that Sci superstars were John Travolta and Tom Cruise, and that’s it 🙂 Nothing deeply, nothing profound. That’s why I always prefered to read others posts, people definitely more qualified, involved and informed than me, instead of speaking nonsense, just to exersize my fingers on the keyboard 🙂
I forgot something, to answer your final question. Yes of course, I’ve learned to share my solidarity with people with disabilities. Partly because of my job, and partly because of an old knee injury, I have a slight disability myself. I can work, I can walk, I can have a normal life, but I cannot play football anymore. I’ve learned to offer people in need what I’ve needed myself almost 20 years ago: solidarity. Not compassion, just solidarity. Encouraging people and treating them the same as any normal people, that means putting their menthal on the highest level possible. I’ve had a time in which I was in a wheelchair and very few people gave me a chance to walk again. I was 22. After 2 years of fierce recovery, I’ve made it! And that’s because my people in my life gave me…courage. Hope and courage. Now I’m 40, happy with my life and looking forward, again, with the same hope and courage. This mood I want to share with everyone who will ever need my help.
Respect !
Here you go, Tor Ivar:
Thank you, Sir!
What happend to the wife and kids ? PER in 🇬🇧
Den 16/01/2013 kl. 19.23 skrev Geir Isene :
> >
Does this help: https://isene.me/2012/12/08/amazing-person-anette-iren-johansen/
The kids are great.
Words for me stop here. I loved the Loss and gains…the OT8. This tops them.
What you write and how you write is that pure harmony. Can’t say more now, will
join the discussion later. Thank you Geir for writing this post! Maybe I become concise and you write a lot. I see in that the best change ever!
Aloneness for me is a quality of Awakening. You write you are happy.
It’s a happy state. Better understanding of life. Love towards what is.
That is the other person is not different from me. One – in the core.
Everybody is that – natively awake. Just they don’t look that way. Afraid to be themselves because of social conditioning. Want to belong – which is a nonsense because we cannot do anything than belong – core/love/one. Ever since I was born I was alone. I thought the problem was with me. Collected lots of mind stuff – to belong. When a year ago STOPPED it, it all collapsed. The quality I seek is that
more people get awaken to the truth.
when tolerance loses its meaning at mind level and gets realized and lived at heart level…
Very thanks for having shared these two vids, Marianne Toth. ML.
With pleasure, idealgoal….me too also like “constructive, brilliant,communicative, just in their way”…..ML
http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=writings_inner&writingid=44
Very thanks for the link, Marianne Toth. I hope I will succeed “to find the courage to step into that infinity of aloneness” and go up to the end (if end there is!), and nice to know we share some reality 🙂
idealgoal
you already have it…I feel it, coming through…the pleasure is mutual
that we share reality…that aloneness is very rich, as I have been experiencing it so far…nice talking to you, come to the blog more often and share your views and experiences, I have been doing it for a while, enjoying it very much, have found friends, learning a lot….just
fantastic….truely alive.
Hi Isene! Thanks for sharing your great thoughts, imho.
For what I look for in “others”: been constructive, brilliant, communicative, just in their way.
Cheer.
Wonderful! To share space with another or others who also are themselves and truly free too. Optimum. Thanks Isene for a wonderful post.
First I’ve seen of your new layout, LIKE very much!
Neat game with the countdown. 🙂 A mystery to me, guess I’ll have to stick around.
Harmony comes from sorting out inconsistencies. Valkov commented on another thread: https://isene.me/2012/12/30/happy-new-year/#comment-27568
“Vin, LRH has over 3,000 hours of lectures going into detail on what is a thetan and all that. Have you listened to the PDC, for example? I’ve heard those go into a tremendous amount of detail on this.”
Valkov please present in this discussion any relevant data you have listened to on those tapes. There is all sort of information out there in different religions. But we are here to discuss the matter. So let’s discuss.
Obviously, you are holding a different consideration than mine in the matter of self or thetan. Why don’t you just present it, and we’ll hash out the inconsistencies.
.
Vinaire; Hijacking the thread?
Yes, because the other thread has become so slow that Valkov is having trouble with it.
Sent from my iPhone
The other solution would be to continue that discussion on VINAIRE’S BLOG. 🙂
Sent from my iPhone
2ndxmr commented: https://isene.me/2012/12/30/happy-new-year/#comment-27580
“A lot more needs to be said and developed around that concept of sharing space (affinity) and enlarging space.”
That which is sharing space is itself a phenomenon of space. Terminals are there due to a condensation of space.
.
“The bit that we tend to exteriorize around our bodies now is likely just a weak echo of the previous ability we had to exteriorize across vast distances.”
True exteriorization is actually a decondensation of space.
.
Geir: How wonderful!
Tolerance is a really big element for me too. Along with that a generosity of spirit and a flexibility of mind.
Humor and fun, a playfulness
I would say accepting, except that this word can be confused with a passiveness that misses the mark. Rather there is a lack of offensiveness and defensiveness — rarely taking anything personally. Differences are not seen as a threat or a danger and there is a willingness to let it be without having to fix or change or interfere. Mistakes are mistakes, not cause for grudge or punishment.
All of the above allows flexibility and exploration, interest and expansion, ease and co-operation. Its easy to enjoy the moment when the moment is just the moment and rich with appreciation.
Kindness.
That one word describes a quality that underlies many other qualities and behaviors most agree are good.
When internalized, it becomes a guiding beacon. Telling a lie can be an act of kindness, in certain circumstances, even though generally people regard lying to be bad.
People who are kind are people I am interested in spending time with.
I wholeheartedly agree.
Harmony is a product of kindness.
Isene
Your quest is already successful as you have already found a few…to
me it seems they are the people, who have no “filters” or simply challange it by going/living off the rails – me living like that. People who want to change you are struggling with their own filters – they are looking at a concept of you instead of looking at you. Actually they want you to help them get rid of their (illusionary) filters – and if you are Present and Present and Present – they succeed, if even for a short time at first. As I find it, without the filter, the Flow (of Life) is expanding and meets and flows through the Universal considerations/creations of the Mind….not always easy to navigate…sometimes it gets stuck either because it is difficult to dissolve/flow through, or it is so
pleasant (in harmony) that a kind of indulgence of it happens….as
I see it, Life (we, who we are) wants “us” to experience it all….as in Alan Watts….you want it, I’ll give it to you…and also, you resist it, it’ll
stay with you….experience it as it is….wild, crazy, smart, stupid, peaceful, solid, soft, energy, thought, empty, no-thing…whatever…just
all…Life is generous….wholeheartedly.
Geir asks: “Would you like to share the qualities you seek in others?”
Do I get a choice? Or are you asking if I like sharing the qualities I seek in others?
😀
How does one share a quality?
.
Some of you have earlier asked about soul mate connections, you will find links after listening to the above. The bottom right one, The energetic match-polarized Twin Flames…is very interesting.
What are soul mates?
.
Choices: 1. get first hand experience 2. read the below 3. variations of 1 and 2. (There are other links too.)
http://www.carolbarbeau.com/html/soul_mates.html
Are soul mates those who mate with their considerations and not with their peckers?
.
hehe
Right….
http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=writings_inner&writingid=22
Sorry Isene, it was meant for Vin, not for you.
Vin,
What inconsistency are you trying to resolve by asking this question?
That inconsistency is about what stops us from mating. Shall we mate or not mate? That is the question.
.
It seems that what stops people from soul mating is the ego which acts like a chastity belt.
.
Vin,
Yes, the ego can be a problem….the way I see it, it is fear- based and
value- based. It becomes less and less as one is able to tolerate no-thingness, be Love, A-ffinity/Infinity/Beingness.
Ego is simply and purely based on attachment to considerations.
.
It’s a blessing for me that my mind just cannot give an answer to any illogical question! Sorry, can’t stop laughing! Have you got an answer to that WHAT?
By the way, what’s the explanation to a pecker as a quantum mechanical event?
Sorry to ask you two questions but I am interested in your answers HERE. Please don’t direct me to any of your projects!
Question: “What’s the explanation to a pecker as a quantum mechanical event?”
Finally I am understanding the subject that really interests you. It was hidden behind all that funny vocabulary that you use.
The answer is that all probabilities are equally mesmerizing, whether this pecker hits the target or misses it, or just slips past it, or even when there is just the expectation of it approaching.
.
Thanks, your answer appeared later here than I asked my questions! Still, the second one is still open and an additional one “mating with their peckers” as a quantum event.
Just wait and the answers shall appear.
.
I am not saying that I fully understand what you are writing about but my experience is “everything is possible” and me (or “anybody”) as potential is capable of creating and experiencing anything. From the no-thingness of potential up to…all created. And it’s good for you to understand the subject that I am interested in because I truely don’t. I live quite spontaneously…
“Everything is possible” is just a consideration. What is really there is what is, and one needs to deal with it. Not-is-ness or alter-is-ness does not lead to solutions.
“Potential” is another considerations. Such considerations simply act as filters. They serve to not-is and alter-is. Ther are diversionary.
So, what is the issue you are looking at. If there is no issue, no soul mating is necessary.
.
Vin, you are really helping me now! First, I got it what you write about probabilities…true. Second, no issue. Yet, there is a probability of an issue.
The article writes about “twin flames”, one, disappearing in the other. Read it,
interesting. But I see something “new”, never experienced, never read about
coming out…also, I have just recently realized, that I seem to live the way Loch Kelly is speaking about in the video on this thread….the things that show up
indicate that and I am becoming more and more conscious of it….my technical
mind is lagging behind with the explanations. So, what is coming out will be experience first and will be “beyond”. When it happens so, I will write about it.
Thanks for your help!
You are welcome. If there is no issue no further exchange is necessary.
Vin,
That right was meant for your comment on ego. Also this….
“If there is no issue no further exchange is necessary”.
Is it true, Vin? A creation can appear fresh and alive out of the instant which can be passed on to another who, after understanding it, can come up with a fresh and alive creation as a response. So alive communication is possible without going to the mind, which thus is solely based on the perceptiveness of the persons involved. Being and perceiving without the veils of the mind. Pure, fun communication!
Example: was about to finish class with a group of kids. Someone started to play the guitar outside. Instant thought: come in and play here. Asked the boy, he was surprised as it doesn’t usually happen so that he goes into a classroom like that. But he did so, played a little and he and the kids enjoyed it! I asked about another chance for him to come in for a longer time – he said he would do so when he finished his new piece he was working on. Never had seen the boy before – it was pure fun! It doesn’t take more than perceiving what there is, using intuition and not be afraid of carrying out action based on it.
As I find it, simple things are the best! Off the rail is safe, fun, creating new reality for all involved.
Vin
I got it now. I knew there was something in me which I had not been
conscious of but I am now. Twin flames…two separated female and male flows united, there is the divine flow. There is another realization, not mentioned yet. I AM ME. No division of female-male energy
inside, I am that divine energy (pure). The “other person” is also in the “state of” I AM ME. The separation between the two persons is illusiory because of the different bodies and some remaining personality traits. So “we both” actually ARE that unified pure energy out of
which very different spiritual experiences and realizations come about both at human-body-mind and beyond the mind “level”. It is just
beautiful from here on!
Also, I can create the “female” energy in the body, as it is female!
Little light music…here it goes.
I really enjoyed that song and music.
.
Glad you liked it Vin! You helped me with the probability stuff yesterday, indeed, very much! Thanks again! Me so much like learning, viewing things from different angles…and I felt a real care too…
Vin!!!
You have found the consistency in inconsistency! Me, being consistently inconsistent is consistency itself! That is Life! What you wrote
about the fascination with probabilities is a real eye-opener! This
is how the Flow of Life operates! Each of us is that! So……….?
I don’t want to overwhelm you with Adyashanti but here is a very “practical outcome” of spirituality. May it be on any “path”. Also, if you are interested,
watch the Energy of a free being on You Tube. Life -for me is beautiful, from
the highest elevated spiritual experience to eating chocolate, watching a good movie, being with you here…just all. Not always easy but in the midst of any phenomenon I can finally find the core…silence/love/harmony…it’s good that I can share it here with you all in this way….thank you Geir for this possibility.
A student of mine has shared it with me today. Thought to share it with you if you haven’t seen it yet. Enjoy!