Letting go (of the horse)

It’s called Equine Assisted Coaching or Coaching with Horses.

In Ibiza, there’s one amazing woman, Gouwe de Waard, who is doing coaching together with Tanit – a horse. I guess the outcome of the coaching is unique for each and every one. For me it was a special exercize in letting go.

I got into the area together with Tanit. I’m comfortable with all kinds of animals, horses included. And so I started out establishing a connection with her. As I tried to communicate in a few dozen ways, Tanit was hell bent on eating. She ate, and ate, and ate and really seemed to not give a shit about me. In trying to communicate, the problem came down to the fact that I was trying. Whenever I tried to get her to move her head or look at me or call her toward me, I was pulling or pushing – but very gently. But that was enough for Tanit to lose interest in connecting with me.

It was when I finally let go – fully didn’t care – fully went fuck it – then she came over to me and stood beside me looking the same way I did. It culminated in several serene moments when we both stood there looking at each other or looking the same way. An amazing experience that confirmed to me the power of fully letting go.

Thank you Tanit. And thank you Gouwe.

#Fail

The next OnePageBook is here. This book aim to inspire you to fail more. And not just to learn from your mistakes – but for another, more fundamental and hidden benefit. But before you read the book, take a look at this inspirational video from SpaceX:


Get your copy of #Fail from the new OnePageBook page on this blog.

Coaching

I made a new page to make it easier to introduce people to my coaching. Always looking to simplify, so this page will change as my approach gets even simpler:

Source: Coaching

Excuse me!

Indignation, grumpiness, annoyance and aggravation, anger, fury and hate, worry and anxiety, fear and sadness, the silent treatment and bullying. These are all natural negative emotions. They are often easily explained. But are they justified?

Usually not. While there are occasions where it is rational to create any of the above mentioned emotions, they are few and far between. Given that you do in fact create your own emotions, blaming other for your creations is the fast track to lose control of your life. To regain control requires that you take responsibility for your own emotions.

Yes, people can treat you like shit. They can be rude, abusive and cruel. While you often cannot control what life dishes out to you, you can decide how you react to any situation. Like the apprentice asking his master fakir, “But Master, do you not feel the pain?” and the old man answered, “Of course I feel the pain. The trick is not minding the pain.”

Ask yourself is, “Does it help to be annoyed?”, “Does it help to worry?”, “Will it improve the situation if I get angry?” If it does help, then go ahead and be really annoyed, worry like hell or blow your top off. If it doesn’t help, then don’t give a fuck.

It’s easy enough to say this, but to live it requires lots of practice. Every shitty situation presents an opportunity to practice not creating an emotion that only adds negativity to the situation.

Celebrate improvements. If it takes you a bit longer before you get pissed, then that’s improvement. If it takes one more insult before you feel hurt, then you’re doing better. Keep practicing and you’ll keep moving toward more control of your life.

The motto: “Only do that which helps. Don’t do that which doesn’t help.

While negative emotions can be considered natural and easily explained, they shouldn’t be excused.

What am I doing?

“If you have a purpose of helping others, then why are you helping people that only help themselves?”

That’s a good question. One that I’ve been asking myself lately. There are some definite pros to helping athletes and others who compete. The results are easily measured and so clearly visible. A placement, a rank, a medal. And my contribution can be discerned. But to help someone win competitions implies helping them to focus – on that specific result, to the exclusion of almost everything else. This is the essence of Two Lengths of the Pool when applied to people who compete. To help people focus on competitive results is to help people become more egotistical. Because so many other parts of life and empathy need to go ta make place for that top position. For glory. For The Win.

I help all kinds of people – from athletes to housewives. And that is why I have come to ask myself this question. Because I can compare so many people I’ve helped. And while helping an athlete win gold is really fun, helping someone with a purpose to help others is far more rewarding in the long run – for the person I help. If the person wants to win a competition, I have to help him become more focused, more egotistical. If the person wants to help others, I have to help him to open up and become more empathetic.

This is the moral dilemma inherent in the question. But it’s not quite a rhetorical question, as maybe a balance is needed?

Impress!

“I am struggling in my job. I don’t know if I should quit my job or continue. And if I continue, whether I should focus on this or that or the other thing. Is this type of work even for me? I feel exhausted. Not much positive feedback, and I don’t really know if what I’m doing is valuable for the company, for any customers or for other employees. I feel kinda lost. What should I do?”

He looked at me across the table. Across his cup of coffee, and mine. I started out slowly:

“You know, there’s stacks of books written about this, countless methodologies and coaching practices addressing these kinds of issues.”

He looked eagerly at me, waiting for some book or methodology that would match his complex problem. Some kind of intricate way of resolving his issues. But then I went on:

“But really, it boils down to just one simple concept. Just one.”

He looked sorta disappointed. Like I was about to invalidate his complex problem or insult his intelligence.

“You only need to impress.”

Uh?

“Yes, impress your customer, your boss, your colleague, your wife, your kids, yourself. But impress by delivering something of value. Impress your customers in every meeting. Impress your colleagues every workday. Impress your kids by really playing with them when they bring out the Lego. Impress your wife in bed. Impress by delivering. Unconditionally and as much as you can. If you do this, you’ll be doing good. And this is all you need to do.”

creating-value-is-habit-forming

Wanted: Top developers/innovators

Here’s a rare opportunity for software developers, innovators, sysadmins, geeks: Join in the creation of a true “innovation garage”. I have taken on the task of creating a subsidiary for a client of mine. The “Dualog Innovation Garage” will spearhead the company’s innovations thrust in the maritime industry. Here’s a short intro:

Dualog (dualog.com) is a Norwegian based company with offices in the UK, Denmark and Singapore. Dualog delivers software to optimize onboard Internet under narrow bandwidth conditions in addition to other functionality for crew, management and ship owners. The company is financially very solid and is gearing up for new innovations in accordance with their tag line “Innovations at sea delivered with passion.” The task at hand is to build an “innovation garage” with 4 world class developers willing to move above the Arctic circle (Tromsø), go crazy with innovation and shock the maritime world. Anything goes in terms of new ideas, new technology and new ways of working – as long as it helps the company make waves and expand by amazing their customers.

Dualog

It would be a dream job for any die hard or playful geek. It would mean doing what you really love. Not dragging your feet to work every day but instead feeling that inner urge and excitement when you get up in the morning. You would be living your passion. A bit like my earlier blog post, titled “Xtreme“.

You can be old or young, a rookie or a seasoned veteran, shy or outgoing. But you have passion and something unique to offer. You make stuff happen.

Interested? Send an e-mail to Geir Isene (geir@a-circle.no)

We will adopt the HP garage rules

We will adopt the HP garage rules 🙂