Had a meeting today with an interesting person. We talked business, life and philosophy. He presented an angle to “Fuck it” that changed my view on letting go – a view that is more direct, active and productive. Play is more positive. While “Fuck it” has great merit, Play is easier to adopt.

You can tell a person to “let go” of the negative emotions he creates. He can perhaps do that. Or perhaps he will struggle to figure out how. You can guide him, coach him, train him to just “give a fuck” and “chillax”. But it may take a while with some serious guidance.

Telling him to play more in life is easier to grasp, easier to do. Play is doing fun stuff that is unserious and not demand results or consequences. Ask the person what “play” is to him. Then encourage him to do more of that in his life. Voilá.


So what?

After a long discussion on the blog post titeled “Your Life“, one of the contributors (katageek) came up with a much better angle than “Fuck It” or even “letting go”:

I suggest “So What?” over “Fuck it!” When it comes to kids. For two reasons:

1. “So what?” can trump any “That’s What.”

and …

2. It’s not bastardizing sex, the coolest thing in life!


GENGHIS KHAN: “I’ve conquered your people and slaughtered them.

TRIBAL LEADER: “Yeah, so what?”

GENGHIS KHAN: “SO WHAT? SO … WHAT? … I’ve conquered your people and killed them all but the finest women. Here is your wife. Watch as I, Genghis Khan rape and impregnate her at the height of her fertility as you watch. And then I will kill you in front of her THAT’S WHAT!”

TRIBAL LEADER: “Yeah, so WHAT? It’s been done before. Nothing new here.”


CONCLUSION: There is no “That’s what” that cannot be trumped by a “So what?” And by saying “Fuck it” to Genghis Khan, you are submitting to him cuz “fuck it” was what he was going to do.

Remember, 1 in every 200 people is descended from Genghis Khan.

But … So what?

I’d say this is a better angle for everyone, not just for kids.

The ingenious angle here is that “So what?” is a question. It encompasses both “fuck it” and “letting go” and directs the person to what comes next. It inspires the person to letting go and to look for solutions in a subtle way.

Now this provides an excellent example as to why I blog. You guys help shape my views. Melike.

Get to the bottom of it!

The insistence on finding the WHY is pervasive. Psychoanalysis. Dianetics and Scientology. ITIL and Root Cause Analysis. The belief that one has to get to the bottom of a problem can be blinding. Because it is far from the only way to solve problems. Sometimes it is better to evade the problem, to find another path or to stop creating the problem altogether.

If you face a difficult situation or problem in life, do you need to find the cause of the problem to solve it? Perhaps. Or perhaps not. It depends. There is no ultimate answer to such a question. Maybe you need what you ultimately think you need in order to solve it.

If your car breaks down, smoke and fire erupting from the engine, do you need to find out why the engine broke down? Not if it is an old wreck of a car. It would be cheaper to buy a new one. And not if it is cheaper to replace the engine than spend much time investigating the source of the engine trouble. It all depends. On the business case. Maybe it was an omen that you should start get in shape by riding your bike more often.

The insistence that one must get to the bottom of it can create tunnel vision and lead to endless hours of therapy or auditing or figure-figure why it is this way or that way. At least sometimes it’s better to just give a fuck.

What I lost in Scientology

While we hear about abuses, human rights violations, harassment, criminal conduct and “fair gaming” in the Church of Scientology, I have been very satisfied with the service I received in my 25 years being a member. Others have lost money, time, careers, family members, unborn children or even themselves. I lost none of that. But I did lose something. And it took me by surprise.

I was nervous as a child. Worrying about stuff – mostly social situations. I was shy, terrified to be asked to read aloud in class. There was often a cocktail of emotions, blood pumping, adrenalin, fear, uncertainty and doubt. Amid the social stress was a boy seeking refuge in hard core natural sciences where I could satisfy my appetite for knowledge and master the crafts. Logic and reason was safe. Emotions not.

When I got into Scientology in 1984, I was seeking new answers and new angles to particle physics and astrophysics. But they offered me a path to gain control of those unruly social situations. I was intrigued to learn that I could gain some level of mastery of shyness, stress and my worrying.

From the very first communications drills and all the way up Scientology’s Bridge to Total Freedom I was longing for less worrying, more control. Mastery of emotions, of self, of stress and of the worry.

And lo and behold, that was just what I got. In spades. No wonder I was happy with my Scientology services. I went from a worrying and shy boy to a radio show host to a CEO of several companies and a renowned public speaker. I got exactly what I wanted.

But be careful for what you wish.

I am seldom stressed or worried. I can be thrown headlong into any public situation, be it impromptu speaking on an unknown subject or going on radio or TV without preparation. No stress, just a pure “Fuck It” attitude to whatever the situation may bring.

I miss the stress. The anticipation of the unknown. The adrenalin. The rush. Much zest have been lost. If anything, that is a source of some worry.

This is why I seek situations where I am not in control. That is why I want challenges beyond my abilities to cope. I need to feel more of those emotions, that part of life.

It is harder and harder to find exciting challenges. If you have any ready, please throw it my way.

In hindsight, I would still do it all over again. Because the benefits of calmness and harmony outweighs the loss of zest. But it is a loss that I am very much aware of.

(From my heart, pure text, no graphics or even links. Delivered as-is.)