To quote my good friend Ole Wiik: “Practice what you want to get good at.”
I used get worked up about losses in life. I didn’t handle them all that well. That started to change when I did the Scientology levels OT 7 & 8. But I didn’t really get to practice my ability to loose without being stressed out, until this year. I learned a lot from loosing my mother. A couple of weeks ago I got to practice loosing yet again when it was clear that my marriage was over. The next week I lost some USD 300K when the new owners of FreeCode had managed to drive the company into the ground.
After loosing my mother, my wife, 50% of the time with my kids and a future with my family, the loss of money was really nothing at all. When I sat there contemplating life’s recent events, I realized something profound; I needed to practice loosing in order to prepare myself for death. Now this may sound overly dramatic or even depressed. But it’s not. It was a really upbeat epiphany.
When you die, you loose almost everything – your body and identity, your family, friends, your stuff, social connections, HP-calculators, and the list goes on. I imagine most people are not fully prepared for that moment when their body finally yields. I certainly was not. But practice makes perfect, and I am determined to be good at all parts of living, including the final moment. So, I welcome these recent losses. It makes for great practice.
What OT 8 did for me was to unstuck me from my past. No more “shame, blame or regret“. No more grumbling on what I should have done or what could have been done. What’s done is gone. That prepared me for this year’s practice in being good even at loosing. But what do you know, it also improved my ability to win.
When I am fully able to loose, I am fully able to win. And vice versa.
I will add that I have the deepest respect for Katrine. She is a wonderful woman, highly able and truly amazing. I was hesitant to include her in the “Amazing person” blog post series as I didn’t want to reveal anything about our divorce before we decided it was OK. Katrine is a fantastic mother, a highly effective business woman, extremely productive and inspiring to all those who are lucky to meet her. But working together and working very hard during the last few years did take its toll. Love died and it is time to move on. We remain the best of friends.
During my 20 years of relationship with my wife, I apparently got quite good at sending “fuck off”-signals to other prospecting women. As the word got out that I was divorcing, several prospects got in contact. However, I was adamant at being single for a year or so.
I alluded to something a couple of blog posts ago: “I have written a series of “Amazing person” blog post. And it never occurred to me that something truly magical would happen in my life. But it did. And I am now pretty sure that there was a connection between me opening up my eyes for the amazingness in other people to what has recently happened. I will not yet relate what it is. All in due time.”
Time to reveal a bit more.
Scientology counseling helped me to really sharpen my focus and decision skills. To the point where decisions take no time and actions are completed without fuss. I got very A to B. So when a truly amazing person, whom I have known for some time contacted me in a very direct manner, I was taken off guard. Then I got struck by lightning. Then it was done.
To illustrate a contrast in my life, let me show you two poems. I wrote this first one two months ago:
In the comfort of HyperList and programming
philosophy and finding the way to truth
away from awkward social situations
but seeking the thrill of them but still
Comfy and cozy even with love as void
missing compassion and passion from a companion
but appreciating the appreciation from the many
friends are important, then. Brendan the most
Music and art fills a void
helping someone fills it even more
but not completely, as loneliness is often nice
calm in my own solitude though that cannot be all
Emotions and tears and a sigh of relief
sometimes nature does wonders, the stars always do
I can have the space, the energy, but time not so much
there is still time to find all the answers I seek.
The second one I wrote two days ago:
A bond beyond what I could have hoped for
This is true love to the core
#brilliant #honest #kickass #smart
Your courage and affection struck right to my heart
#breathless #whimsical #oncloud9
Taking life in anew, you make me shine
#warm #emotional #soulmate #near
I love when you shine, bright and clear
#commitment #loyalty #strength
I will support you - to any length
I see you. I feel you
I trust you and love you
Time is merely a consideration. The above is an example of what scientologists call “Tone 40”.
Funny how life turns and is turned. Interesting how practice makes perfect. And good to know that one can be at cause and then cause life to be filled with joy.